"A Christmas Intern"— The Holiday Movie Binge
Christmas with a click!
Synopsis: From the director of Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Beach Babes From Beyond, and A Talking Cat!?! comes a heartwarming Christmas tale about family, love, and unpaid labor. As Christmas approaches, Alexis, the CEO of a Christmas supply start-up, is desperate to secure investment funding. In need of another staffer to help boost sales, she hires her mom as an intern.
“... Above all, ‘A Christmas Intern’ serves as the employee handbook for Yuletide spirit. There isn’t a page worth skipping…”
Nothing says Christmas quite like a retired mother willingly—and enthusiastically—grinding to the bone for zero pay for her daughter’s struggling company.
Is this another example of an overqualified hire being forced to work below their pay grade? Or of nepotism robbing worthy applicants of entry-level employment opportunities? Perhaps. But it’s easy to root for and get behind Alexis, who believes in herself and her company, Cyber Santa, almost as much as she believes Christmas cookies are a fine substitute for cash as a Christmas bonus.
This girl loves Christmas—so much so that she has literally made it her business.
Nevermind her Scrooge-like treatment of her underpaid employees, forcing them to toil long hours pivoting between various roles to fill the gaping holes in her understaffed and underfunded company, Alexis is basically Santa Claus, helping people around the country enrich their Christmases with light-up reindeer, snow globes, wreaths, and other decorations.
Reflecting Alexis's red-and-green-tinted glasses, every pixel of screen time in A Christmas Intern is double-stuffed with Christmas goodies, inviting us into a world in a perpetual state of Yuletide euphoria.
Gaze in wonder at two Christmas trees in a kitchen, one on the countertop and one right by the stove. A potential fire hazard? Yes, but an aesthetically pleasing one.
Marvel at the Christmas tree crammed behind a couch. Why? Because the rest of the floor space in the living room is occupied by other Christmas trees.
Goggle at Cyber Santa’s horizonless warehouse filled floor-to-ceiling and wall-to-wall with Christmas supplies, plugged in and lit 24/7 for no reason other than that it looks nice.
Does A Christmas Intern have its flaws? Sure. It provides far too many details about the business side of the business, which distracts from the Christmas side of the business. Even with all these excruciating specifics, it’s entirely unclear if the gifts Cyber Santa sells contain actual things or if they’re just neatly wrapped empty boxes—like stock presents for an office lobby. But these are minor details. Pointless to dwell on.
More telling than anything, this movie inspired my girlfriend to finish her Christmas shopping, even if she only partially listened to it as background noise. With that kind of real-world impact, we’re talking about an all-time great.
RATING: 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
The Stocking Stuffers:
This movies wins the award for Featuring Not One, Not Two, But Three Extreme Close-Ups of Icing Christmas Cookies
This movie wins the award for The Tiniest Bite of a Christmas Cookie I Have Ever Seen
This movie wins the award for Featuring the Line: “Who gets mono anymore?”
Next week, we will tackle the age-old question, is Die Hard a Christmas movie?
Stay tuned.